Is there ever perfect love? This is a question I keep asking myself when I'm told to never settle for a lady. If there is no perfect love, then to what extent does one have to compromise and accept their lover?
Over the course of relationships I’ve had, there's one thing that I've learned. Before going into a relationship, you have to know yourself and know your boundaries as well. But now, if we are to set boundaries, how do we venture into the love life? Often, boundaries are not set from the beginning but rather mentioned during the relationship when they have been crossed, which then leads to a dead end of the relationship at times. I won’t argue against knowing yourself because you need to know what you want and who you are; no one wants a lost or confused person.
The fiction of love exists in people's fantasies, imprinted in their minds by books and theaters, forgetting that this world is black and white, storms and rainbows. So, it can be true that in the world of love, everything would be as white as fiction, with every piece fitting in like a jigsaw puzzle. But I wouldn’t blame anyone who looks at it that way because there are many masked relationships broadcasted on the internet, creating the illusion that it’s perfect.
Perfect love is an illusion, a fantasy, and a dream. But that doesn’t eliminate the idea of beautiful love, where there’s peace and happiness, with some problems that arise now and then. In beautiful love, there have to be compromises that can be accepted, and that depends on the person. I cannot say exactly what to compromise on, but it all relies on your decision-making and your view on whether or not you will be happy and comfortable in the relationship. But I cannot end without addressing the matter of changing some of your traditions in the name of love.
As there have to be compromises in accepting some things that your partner does or their looks, what about when it comes to changing yourself? This is where there’s most conflict in people's opinions. When you decide to change because your partner highlighted something about your traditions or behavior, it would be best not to change unless you see something wrong and change if you yourself see there’s a problem. Otherwise, it’s better to leave and find someone who will accept you. But now, this is where compromising and knowing yourself comes in. If it’s a trait that you can do away with, then fine, let it go, change for your partner but don’t expect them to do the same for you. I’m saying this because you have to change not because they said it but rather because you see the good in it, rather than dwelling on the idea of finding someone who will accept you. Yes, there are many people out there, but what is the use of exploring all around the world chasing acceptance? What if the next person doesn’t accept something else? There can never be a perfect person, just as you can never be perfect in someone’s eyes. Perfect love is an illusion spun by books and theaters. Just do your best to love and be lovable, and know yourself and your boundaries first.
